Hey guys! I’d like to apologize for my accidental hiatus. I’ve been really busy with school but I should be back to posting weekly like normally now. Also I would like to apologize for what you’re about to read because wow, it’s something. You probably don’t remember, but a long while back I did this same post with my friend Ashley. Basically, I showed her the covers of books and she guessed what the synopses of them were. It was a lot of fun so I decided to do it again with one of my other friends, Payton.
When I pitched this idea to her, she told me she “had a feeling her answers were going to be smarter than Ashley’s”. I don’t know about that, I guess you can decide in the comments lol. Before we get to Payton’s answers, I would like to note that anything in italics are my thoughts while writing this and everything else is her responses.
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Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugo
In this story, there were six siblings because crows usually packs or flocks—it’s called a death. Actually it’s called a murder, but nice try. Anyways there were six crows that traveled all around and they’re all siblings. The society hated them because they were crows and brought death with them so they were traveling around to do a heist and steal from the king and queen. They really like shiny things since they’re crows.
But plot twist: the prettiest girl of them all hated men. Wait, are they crows or people? So when they got caught and trapped in prison, she was really mean to the prince. He thought that she was interesting so they went out on a date. Every date, he would give her a gem. She was getting out of prison to go out with him and he still had to bribe her? How awful was this prince? In the end, since he kept giving her gems, they ended up getting everything they were planning on stealing during their heist anyways. Then they got released.
Actual Synopsis
I had some faith that Payton would get this one correct since I talk about this series kinda constantly. (How could I not? It’s literally immaculate.) These hopes were quickly crushed. I’m still kind of confused about what species these six siblings she’s talking about are, but it doesn’t really matter because the rest of her synopsis was super wrong too. Here’s the real one:
Kaz Brekker, criminal prodigy, must lead a rag-tag team of convicts as they try to accomplish the impossible heist: Breaking into The Ice Court, a Fierdan government facility with incredible security. The safety of the world’s Grisha depends on them, six teenagers that can barely have a conversation without trying to rip each other’s heads off. What could possibly go wrong?
At the End of Everything by Marieke Nijkamp
Okay, so I gather that there’s a bike. There was an accident, a crash, a kidnapping. All three? There are two people: a boy and a girl, cause Sophia only reads romance. Girl, why am I being attacked? They were biking down a path until boom! A storm came because the world hated them. Even the weather hated them. Wow. When the storm hit them, they flew off their bikes and they got kidnapped by a water witch. She caused a downpour and then everything got flooded. As they were being pulled apart by the water, they held hands and promised to never leave each other but then they got separated. So, they broke their promise immediately then?
The girl getting kidnapped was never noticed and the boy just continued living because no one believed him until boom! What is with the sound effects in this story?? 10 years later, they’re in high school and the girl comes back. She inherited the powers of the water witch and she wreaks havoc on the whole world except him.
Actual Synopsis
Yeah none of that was even close to right. At the End of Everything is a dystopian novel that takes place during a pandemic. (Sound familiar? It was inspired by COVID.) Towns shut down and everyone is afraid to leave their houses, even the guards at Hope Juvenile Treatment Center, a juvenile detention center. They leave the teens there abandoned, with limited resources or access to the outside world. They struggle to survive in a world that would prefer them forgotten.
The Exact Opposite of Okay by Laura Steven
Okay, so rumors get spread about this girl, Izzy, having sexual encounters. Then of course, there’s public shame and people think she’s indecent and all that. This is actually spot on so far. Now she’s spiraling into depression and she doesn’t know how to cope with it. And there’s a zipper coming out of her mouth because she felt like all people wanted to listen to her talk about was this scandal. I mean, your explanation of symbolism is concerning at best, but not technically wrong?
Actual Synopsis
This one was definitely the best synopsis she gave. It’s very close to what happens in the actual book. I have a feeling that’s cause I also talked to her about this book a lot. In fact, Payton’s actually the one who told me about this book. Long story short, she told me about a cute romance book she saw at the library. She thought it looked good, but wanted me to read it first to tell her if it’s worth her time. (Because apparently her time is worth more than mine?) She ended up giving me the wrong title by accident though. Although this book ended up being really good, it is definitely not “a cute romance”.
The main character in this book, Izzy, is caught in the middle of a huge scandal when a website launches with the sole goal of slut shaming her. Photos emerge of her having sex with a local politician’s son and suddenly it’s all her small town can talk about. She struggles to deal with the shame and disgust people throw her way while also trying to figure out who put up this awful website to begin with.
Better Than the Movies by Lynn Painter
Okay, so what happened was they met at a school dance and she was in a yellow dress. They met while she was wearing a yellow dress and black heels and he was just looking like a casual dude from down the street. Oh okay you’re just gonna explain each photo on the cover then. Then they fell in love because she tripped down the sidewalk and fell into his arms. Down the sidewalk? Is the point of a sidewalk not it being flat? Then it happened again except this time it was on purpose. It looked like she was dripping blood from her hair cause she just died it red. What? He was like, “Oh my gosh, you look kind of weird but you’re still super pretty.” Wow. I love it when guys tell me I look “kind of weird”. When he caught her this time, the hair dye got all over him too. So she was just like, oh I’m half way through dying my hair. Better go find that cute guy?
It looked like blood so people thought he was in need of medical attention. That’s why in the next scene, there wearing hospital attire. You’ve clearly never been to a hospital. Also why would they stay at the hospital if nothing was actually wrong with either of them? That’s why some white blood cell doodles are like decorating the cover to symbolize how their relationship grew with the help of medical technology. Then they get out of the hospital and are both wearing white. It shows that they’re not afraid to stain their clothes with blood or hair dye. Instead they’re just telling the world, “This is us! This is what we do. We’re so much better than that dumb movie we watched with Harry Styles in it.” This was definitely only included because I was explaining to her the plot of Don’t Worry Darling earlier lol.
Actual Synopsis
Wow that was one of the dumbest plotlines I’ve ever heard and I’m still pretty sure Payton doesn’t know what hair dye is. Let’s get into the actual synopsis before you give up on this book forever, because I promise you, the actual storyline is seriously adorable.
Better Than the Movies follows Liz and Wes, neighbors who can’t stand each other. It’s their senior year of high school and Liz is about to have her fairy tale romance. Her childhood crush, Michael, has moved back to town but of course Wes ruins everything and becomes friends with him smh. Liz has to work together with Wes to get her love story. The plan they come up with also involves the two of them pretending to date to make Michael jealous because of course it does.
Boyfriend Material by Alexis Hall
Okay, so the cover’s red white and blue to represent Great Britain, the city of love. It’s not a—you know what, yeah. That’s the closer than most of her guesses, so yeah, we can work with this. So basically, these two guys meet and the brown-haired guy asks the black-haired guy, “Wow. Why do you have no chest hair whatsoever?” And the black-haired guy was like, “You have a really cute smile. I really like that about you.”
Then they back to one of their houses and saw a photo album. They recognized one dude with like a mustache or something and the blond-haired guy’s like, “Oh my gosh, that’s my great-great grandad who got killed by some French people!” And the other guy’s like, “What? That’s the guy who attacked our people and tried to colonize us! You’re related to them? I thought you were British like me.” Oh yes, that one battle where the French attempted to colonize the British? Yeah, you know what I said about this one being reasonable? You can forget that. Then they started hating each other and hoped to never see each other again. But then they run into each other at Big Ben and one of them’s crying. The other one apologizes and then they fall in love again.
Actual Synopsis
I don’t even want to talk about this one. The synopsis Payton came up with is so bad it’s painful. Also her complete lack of knowledge regarding history is a bit concerning. She did guess that Luc was of French descent which is a really random thing for her to get right, but other than that she was very, very wrong. Here’s the actual storyline:
Boyfriend Material follows son of rock star parents, Luc. After getting into some trouble in the media, he has to get a fake boyfriend to clean up his image. That’s where Oliver comes into play. Well-respected, polite, and gloriously un-scandalous, he is the perfect respectable boyfriend. In other words: Luc finds him painfully boring. However, once they begin their fake relationship, feelings begin to shift. Just as they’re wondering if they could become more than just a fake couple, Luc’s father shows up to ruin everything.
Well, I’d usually say I hope you found some good book recommendations from this post, but I’m pretty sure Payton’s turned all of us off from reading ever again lol. Hopefully, you at least found it entertaining. As always, I hope this post finds you well and you have a great day!
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ok but you saying “Actually it’s called a murder, but nice try” WAS SO SNARKY I LOVE IT. also omg the six of crows conclusion your friend arrived at was HILARIOUS and i just. LET ME LAUGH FOR A BIT.
nvm every single one of your responses is snarky. look i would have quoted each one but that would be unnecessarily long i think plus you wrote this so you know them all. i’m SO here for it. (will never getv over how freaking entertaining and unique your posts are!! DID I MENTION THIS WAS HILARIOUS AND I LOVE IT??)
Lol I’m glad you enjoyed reading my unnecessarily sarcastic comments. Seriously though, this comment made my day. I’m so glad you like my posts. Thank you so much!!